On Call

Work messages have bound me to the workplace from home, or wherever I may be, ripping me from the zen of my safespace and forcing me to constantly think about work on my own time. An alert on my phone now has me anxious as to what the news will be and where it is coming from. No longer do I want to hear my phone chirp or feel it vibrate in my pocket, I’d much rather it just laid still and unmoving. Maybe this is better for me…

When you receive a text message, or any notification on your hand-held pocket-stored mobile device, you also receive a hit of dopamine. The vibration gives you a rush. Whether someone has liked something of yours, tagged you in something, or noticed you in any capacity – this feeling of being affirmed or acknowledged is addictive. We chase this rush in every form we can, so that we have multiple channels through which we can receive these microdose braingasms. A drip feed of feel good hormones that don’t fill us but stimulate us for the moment and make us crave more.

It has gotten to the point for me now where I have cut down the channels of contact so that I receive a balance of alerts that I want and that I don’t want. Ones that make me feel good and positively stimulated, and ones that make me feel bad, almost anxious in anticipation. I wonder if I am messing with the dopamine system, if I’m making it better or worse.

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