I don’t celebrate holy days, bar easter

I’m strictly a coffee drinker

and chocolate bar eater.

not one for eating from a calendar

with time dictating when I have my provisions

I bought the fucking thing

so I’ll make the decisions.

you can keep your cakes

with loose change in

make way for new ideas

the times they are a-best on sunday

like roast dinner and church.

the masses are in

so they can off some merch

necklaces and bracelets

to serve as a reminder

of our one lord and saviour

and to always be kinder;

a silver ring above your ring finger knuckle

or a faggot being stoned on a golden belt buckle

just in case you’re running out of space

I’ll sit at the table but I won’t say grace

because I don’t prey where I eat

I do love a nun’s company

but two’s a crowd

and three’s unlucky if you’re superstitious

write that on the wall stevie

and while you’re there

pin the tail on the donkey and hit the piñata

nan’s left the room cas she’s afraid you’ll cut her

not cas your blind, mind

it’s cas you’re one of those blacks

no it’s christmas

we tolerate intolerance

it reminds us of jesus and turkeys and that.

fuckin crackers.